Letters from our Couple

8/5
Thank you, thank you, thank you (did I say "thank you") for sticking with us.
Everything you wrote below I agree with...having to call my parents, tell my friends (who all have kids), etc., is brutal. They all want to say something to make you feel better, but it doesn't; I just want to go home and be with E. Instead, I'm stuck here in the office not being productive.
And yes, I did speak with Shelley, mostly to hear some comforting words, which of course she gave me. She still feels very hopeful that b/c E is young and you're such an ideal surrogate that the second try will be successful - and as she and Dr. Feinman have said before - that even though today feels like the end-of-the-road, it's not. Hopefully now Dr. Feinman knows the best protocol, and in a couple of months we'll all be smiling. I've also read that there is actually an improved chance with subsequent cycles, for various reasons.
Sounds like you've read similar things. If there's something that could help us - especially E - feel more hopeful, please let us know.
Thanks again and get some rest. I'm sure your body will be happy to be off the drugs for a while.
T

8/5
It didn’t happen this time. I can’t tell you how appreciative we are of everything you’ve had to go through just to get to this point. No doubt you did everything you could. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be this time.
Hopefully you’ll be willing to continue this rather difficult ride with us. I don’t think we could have found a better surrogate...
T



8/4
Sometimes too much information can be a bad thing... when E went through the cancer, I read quite literally everything I could find. It certainly made me better informed, which was of course the goal, but I read so many things that I found it difficult to weed-out the relevant stuff, and at times it got really overwhelming. And I wasn't being pumped full of hormones!
Hang in there. Everything happens for a reason, so if the results are negative tomorrow it'll be ok. I'm confident that everything will work out in the end.
It just might be a bumpy road getting there...
T

8/4
Hi Jacquelyn,

We are all very anxious to know the result of transfer, and we'd certainly love to get good news sooner, but I still feel that taking early tests can create more anxiety than not. The positive on Friday followed by a negative on Sunday is a good example of just that.
I spoke with Marisol a few minutes ago, and she advised me that unless your hCG level is considerably over 5, at best the result will show a 'maybe' (of course anything below 5 means no pregnancy). Giving it a couple of more days will assure a much more accurate result, and also limit our collective stress if the result is a 'maybe'; in which case, you'd have to return on Thursday anyway. Plus, I know that you've been reading quite a lot about the whole process, so the info you sent E yesterday about a frozen transfer taking more time to result in a positive test makes me feel even more reticent (or was that only for the pee test?).
That said, the decision as to when to get the beta is of course ultimately yours, but I do urge you to please consider whether it really makes sense to go tomorrow or not.
Thanks for your understanding
T

7/31
Hi Jacquelyn,
So, what’s new? Anything interesting going on in your life? No? Yeah, me neither...
All joking aside, I just wanted to check-in and see how you were doing. E told me you decided to hold-off on the pee test; I think that’s a good idea. Like you said, you probably won’t know anyway, and as stressful a process as this is, there’s really no need to add to it by checking throughout the weekend.
We’ll know soon enough (though it feels like an eternity!).
If you need anything in the meantime, let us know.
Best,
T

7/25
I just got a call from HRC – both embryos survived the thawing process, and are now in the incubator. They haven’t been graded yet (it’s too soon), but the embryologist said they looked good (which is surprising, since she originally didn’t think the smaller one would make it) and will hopefully both continue to thrive.
Which means...the transfer is scheduled for Sunday at 10:30am! so Jacquelyn please keep taking your meds as planned. We won’t know anything else about the embryos between now and then, since they will be left to grow undisturbed until the last minute.
Wow, what a ride...
See you Sunday.
Thanks,
T

7/24
They were frozen on day two (which I believe, but could be wrong, is known as the two-pronucleate stage), which according to both HRC and Shelley is the best time to freeze. Then they are then allowed to grow to blasto stage and implanted (again, I may be wrong on the terminology).
As for grading, I unfortunately don’t know (at the time we were more focused on E's cancer), but I know that they feel one is better than the other. But as the doctor said today, she’s seen ‘the runts’ turn into beautiful babies too.
If you have any more questions, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m really pleased that you’re taking the time to be so informed.
Thanks.
T

6/30
Hi Jacquelyn, How are ya? T and I were talking this morning about all of the medication you have to take to get ready for this and we feel bad and yet we appreciate it so much. Thank you for torturing yourself to get your womb all ready for hopefully a B baby. So, I don't know what to say or how to thank you for loaning your body to us and hopefully our baby for the next however long. Thank you just seems completely inadequate, so how about merci or gracias, or danke shoen!! Oh, that's so much better!! Saying thank you feels much bigger in another language! Don't you now feel incredibly thanked?? I'm totally kidding by the way, I don't think there is a word or words to let you know how beyond amazing this is and your (& Sean's) decision to help us.
E

6/27
Sorry, I'm extra-sensitive to these kinds of things. On my way to Vegas waiting to board the plane, I saw a woman accidentally dump her 3 month old baby out of her car seat onto the hot asphalt because she was messing with some belt thing and she did not even realize her baby was face down having landed on her head. Then, her baby was screaming and she kept messing with the seat belt thing and did not stop whatever she was doing to check on her baby, let alone comfort the poor thing for several minutes.Sorry for mentioning all of this, but it was so upsetting. My stomach felt sick watching that poor baby. On a very positive and happy note, we are so excited to get started with you guys on this!!! You are both amazing to help us have a family! Have a wonderful weekend.
E

6/03
I planned on emailing you this morning, but got buried with work. T and I wanted to see how you were feeling from the procedure yesterday, any cramping or discomfort?It was really nice to see you again and thank you for letting me watch Jubilee, she's adorable. Thank you for sending me the picture, It's a really lovely shot. I went back and they took blood today to see where Iam officially in my cycle. T and I were talking last night when we took the dogs for a walk and we were just saying how perfect we think you are for us and the surrogacy. Thank you for doing this, even though thanking you seems so trite. Let us know if you need anything and I'll talk to you soon. Tell Jubilee and Sean "hi", you can tell your boys too, but they'll probably be like "who said hi".;)
E

5/23
How are you and everyone? I just had some time and went to your website. I love your photos. I think oneof my favorites is the baby in the stocking, although the I love the artistic quality of the baby with the red blanket surrounding her and the one with the teddy bear or rabbit with its arm on the baby's head. I've thought about you this week and I hope that an email doesn't seem too impersonal, but I just wanted to say hi. How are you feeling about all of this? Are you doing fine? Sometimes I get nervous but am so excited, but trying not to get ahead of myself (ourselves). We spoke with the therapist last night because she has to write a report on us for the agency and the doctor regarding the surrogacy process. And then I look at your precious photos of the new baby and I just hope that that will be us next us next year or so. I thought about forwarding one of them to T, but I don't want to make him more anxious than he already is about trying to get pregnant.I hope this email doesn't come across as too selfish, which since I'm writing about us it is, but I really just wanted to touch base and let you know where our hearts and minds are. I hope you guys are all well and have a very safe happy long weekend.
E